My Worst Landing Ever

Our airline had a scheduled flight between Washington Dulles and Philadelphia International.  It was a relatively short flight from airport to airport, however the taxi time on the ground at Philadelphia could be substantial.  The problem with many of the major East Coast airports lies in the fact that the cities were there first, thus the real estate required for our modern air traffic volumes was limited when the airports were being created. New York Laguardia is a perfect example. Philadelphia also has limited space which results in traffic congestion on their main taxiway "Kilo".

Over the years of flying into Philly, I developed a technique which always saved taxi time, if the cards were right. Specifically, they had to be landing the inbound traffic on Runway 27R (R stands for "Right"). The strategy was to plan a full flap landing for a slower landing speed, place the main landing gear on the runway without hesitation, immediately lower the nose gear to the runway, and apply the brakes firmly so as to be able to exit the runway at taxiway "Mike". That allowed us to cross the busy taxiway straight into the ramp area. If we rolled past "Mike" then we would have to get in line on taxiway "Kilo" which was always saturated with airplanes both coming and going from the gates of several terminals. the difference in time could reach upwards to twenty minutes, forever in a taxing airplane as we all know.  While this was a rather short landing, it was never rough or jerky. If we didn't get down to taxi speed in time to get "Mike" then so be it.

On the day of my "worst landing ever" they were landing on 27R. I briefed the plan and was ready to do it. I flew down the final right on the target approach speed, touched down with a "thump", right on the target spot, immediately lowered the nose gear to the runway, and was right on the brakes. I squeezed the brakes firmly and steadily while judging the deceleration rate with the quickly shortening distance to "Mike".  It worked out well as we were at slow walking speed as I made a nearly ninety degree turn off of the runway at "Mike".

"Contact Ramp Control entering the ramp." said the tower controller, and we went right in. I was feeling very satisfied with that landing as I set the parking brakes at the gate, some fifteen minutes early. A few minutes later I was standing on the jet-bridge, helping the passengers with their carry-on bags, when a woman, who looked in her 60's approached me and said loudly enough to be heard by everyone on the jet-bridge, 

"Captain, I've flown all over the world and have been on many airline flights, and that was the worst landing ever!"

Everyone there got quiet as they waited to hear my reply to that. I looked at her for a couple of seconds and said, "Well... they're getting better..."  

The roar of laughter was immediate and the poor woman hurried up the bridge without another word.